Leukemia

"In the Background"

By: Joe L. 

         The long awaited interview finally was done, cancer survivor Haden DeRoberts. He fought leukemia at the age of 18. Pretty crazy. Living on the edge of your life and wondering why it is happening you, thinking it would never be you, just people you know. The part of Haden’s story that reaches my heart is the fact that he is around my age suffering from cancer.  However, when my group decided to write about cancer, it quickly brought my mind to the Aufdencamp family. Their story was the first time cancer touched my life. Not only did it affect Mrs. Aufdencamp but also her family and specifically my friend Kohl.

         The first memory I have of Kohl is back in fourth grade, when I first came to Tremont. He was the first to introduce himself, sporting the long hair. I didn’t know at the time about his mom’s situation and never met her while I was in elementary school. However, Kohl never showed any sadness at school, just another ten year-old kid enjoying recess and loving craft time. Tremont eventually was left behind as we moved on to Jones where I became closer with Kohl. He is the kind of guy that brings joy out of people. I have only seen him upset a couple times in my life due to his relaxed personality and he just creates a relaxed atmosphere around him. During middle school I finally met his family.

          His father is a kind man with a smile that just makes you want to smile back. He has a laid-back nature like Kohl and seems to be at constant peace, rarely upset about anything. Always very nice to me and all of Kohl’s friends, Mr. Aufdencamp is a hard-working individual who owns Mama Mimi’s Take-n-Bake Pizza. While I was at Tremont, I never heard of the place but the pizzeria’s success grew as I became older and it seemed to be peaking around my eighth grade year. Whenever I was at the Aufdencamp household on Mountview Road, pizza was the thing to eat. Kohl’s sister, Gabby, is a sweetheart. I met her when she was a junior in high school. Just like her brother and father, she is laid-back and makes people feel welcomed whenever they are visiting. She is extremely smart and currently attends Loyola University Chicago. However, what seemed to make the family complete was Mrs. Jodi Aufdencamp.  The greatest thing that caught my eye though was the strength of Mrs. Aufdencamp. Her attitude toward life was beyond measure. Her presence in the room brought a glow with the way she spoke and interacted with people. She loved her family so much and treated Kohl’s friends like her own sons and daughters. I do not know her entire story but from what I do know, she was an amazing individual.

          I am not really best friends with Kohl but him and I have a friendship that is pretty close. I know we can trust each other. I have not seen him at his worst or best. I haven’t been to all of his birthday parties or stuff like that. However, I don’t measure friendship like that. I have been the part of some great memories and some sad ones. Through it all, he has a positive outlook on life, an outlook that exceeds most others. You could ask anyone about Kohl and they would say he is a chill, funny guy. A respectful guy who has been strong through everything in his life. When his mother was diagnosed in cancer, Kohl still had hope. Didn’t show any negative emotions at school or whenever I was hanging out with him. This applied to his mother as well, her voice full of excitement. The relationship Kohl and his mom had was amazing. I’m not an expert on family relationships but I think most people can identify a close, happy mother and son relationship. She would do anything for him and knew when to give him space or when to comfort him. She was just so kind that it is honestly too emotionally difficult for me to explain.

          This bond would become extremely important when things started to turn for the worst. After a rather quiet beginning of the year, Mrs. Aufdencamp’s health conditions worsened during the summertime. People began to not see Kohl as much and Mrs. Aufdencamp did not go out much. My mother along with five other moms created the Jodi Aufdencamp Walk. They went all out. T-shirts, tents, stickers, food, drinks, the whole package. Hundreds of people came and the path was simply just around the perimeter around Northam Park, starting at the library parking lot. Once everyone went around the park one time as a big group, we headed toward the Aufdencamp household, something I will never forget. Everyone was smiling and talking with high spirits as we approached the house. The sun was shining, clear skies. She stepped out into her yard, on the side of her house. Her eyes were gleaming and her smile was spread from cheek to cheek. She thanked everyone for coming out and for supporting the fight against breast cancer. The moment was something I will remember forever because that was the last time I saw Mrs. Aufdencamp.

         I began to see Kohl less and less and heard little about Mrs. Aufdencamp’s condition. People closer to Kohl said very little, only giving brief details. It was a month of sitting on the edge, hoping and praying. Summer began to wane with only about two weeks before the first day of school. My mom was constantly on the phone and talking to other moms, trying to firgure out what the current situation was but never telling me anything out of line. However, the day came. Mrs. Jodi Aufdencamp passed away August 17, 2012. Gone. Emotions and thoughts swarmed throughout my head. It was awful and I began to think about Kohl and how he would handle it. The funeral was a few days later and the line was out the building, literally. The amount of people there showed how Mrs. Aufdencamp touched so many lives and how she was a wonderful person.

          There were many kids in my grade there to comfort Kohl but I honestly was lost for words. I couldn’t really say much since I wasn’t his best friend or experienced something like that. It was hard for me to even imagine the loss of my mother at fifteen years old. I looked at his face and it was hard, watching him keep his emotions in check. He maintained his cool and made an effort to stay cheerful in front of everyone. The worst part though was the feeling of wishing you could have done more even though that was beyond most people’s abilities.

          The saddest moment that I have ever witnessed of Kohl was during halftime of our freshman lacrosse game. It was Mother’s Day and our coaches provided roses to give to our mothers. Everyone went up quickly and rushed back to the field and Kohl stood there, looking around. His dad would eventually come down from the bleachers and hug him for a while but in the back of my mind I felt terrible for him. No one said anything to him about that day and I think that is probably for the better.

          This school year, Kohl sits next to me in Advanced Algebra. He seems to be fine most of the time, just living his life like any other teenager. He constantly jokes around with me and brings a positive attitude toward that class. Obviously I don’t know what he is thinking, I can only assume. My mom always asks about Kohl and how he is holding up but I can’t really say much since he does not share his emotions very much about what happened. I can only hope he is doing well.

          The Aufdencamp story and Haden’s story have changed my view on cancer in several ways. They showed me cancer can touch anyone of any background at any time. They brought my focus of supporting those who need it most, especially in the darkest hours. The stories made me look at my life and wonder why I complain sometimes. I’m not the one who had to go through chemotherapy or sit in a hospitals for days, missing out on the normal life. These stories inspire me to be grateful and not take anything for granted. Take advantage of  opportunities when they are there and live my life to the fullest while also supporting those within the struggle.